FAT bastard Merlot

by Mary Maynard
(Monument, CO. USA)

What possessed us to open wine?
It was the last possible night for us to walk around the neighborhood after dinner before it gets too cold. We needed fuel for walking.

What possessed us to open THIS wine?
I weigh about 5 lbs more than I should. When I looked at this wine I knew it was the right choice, even though for the wrong reasons. Plus, really, can you look at this bottle and not chuckle at least slightly?

What’s so great about it?
Jessica loves the name and the hippo. (was she thinking it resembled me?) She commented on its legs and said it was full-bodied. (again, was she thinking about my thighs?) David also used the descriptor full-bodied. (someone is going to die) He said it smells like a fat bastard, but how would he know? All kidding aside, he didn’t think that it tasted like Merlot as much as it smelled like it. He liked the spiciness and said it had a very nice color. I thought it was great! (but I like all red wine, so there)

Fantasy this wine engendered:
I can drink all the wine I want and lose this stubborn 5 lbs. And, of course, all the cheese I want as well. And wait, there is chocolate….

Conversation this wine engendered:
Brazilian Butt Lift DVD. Shouldn’t we get this immediately?
What to say at MOPS
What would we name a wine if we ever got to
Why different people get different degrees

Mary Maynard
www.happyhourmary.com